I don’t want to mediate.  I want to know what my rights are and what the law says about my situation.

That’s a good instinct.  You can get legal advice and mediate, in fact, I strongly encourage it.  The best outcomes to disputes involving legal issues will come from people who know their rights and obligations under the law.  It makes for more workable solutions and more sustainable agreements.

You can have your legal advice and your mediation, too.  You don’t have to litigate to get the legal advice you want.  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Talking takes too much time and money.  I want it done now.

If you have a faster and less expensive way of reaching a resolution, then you should certainly do it.

What is that way?  Do you have a way of resolving the situation without talking?  Is it faster and cheaper? Will it last?

How long did your attorney say a lawsuit will take?  How much will it cost?  And what did your attorney say when you asked for guarantees about that?

There are no guarantees in mediation, either.  But here’s the point:

In a lawsuit, after months and years of fighting and attorneys’ fees, 98% of lawsuits end with an agreement anyway.  There isn’t a trial.  And after all the litigation, they get to that agreement by talking about it.

So what’s more efficient?  Talking in a mediation that’s designed to reach the agreement that’s going to happen anyway and is more likely to address what’s most important to you?  Or spending all of your attorney’s time and your money preparing for a trial that isn’t going to happen, then talking on the courthouse steps to reach an agreement you don’t want?

In a mediation we’re going to find out pretty quickly if there’s a possibility for a productive, constructive negotiated agreement.  If it doesn’t look good, you’re not out much.  You’ll be the wiser and can head down the litigation path knowing you gave it your best shot.

Talking takes time, but fighting takes even longer.

I don’t want to reach an agreement – I want a judge to tell them they’re wrong and I’m right.

Have you heard that more than 98% of lawsuits don’t end in trial?  So you’ve got 2 chances in 100 that your case will be heard by a judge.  Then you’ve got a 50/50 chance that you’ll lose.  Then, even if you win, you’ve got a 3 in 4 chance that you still won’t be satisfied with what the judge says (75% of the winners in litigation – the winners – are unhappy with the outcome).

Doing the math, I’d say you’ve got 1 chance in 400 of hearing from the judge what you want to hear.  If you like those odds, go ahead, ante-up, and roll the dice.

I have no interest in having anything more to do with these people at all ever again.  I just want this over and done with.  I certainly don’t want to have any sort of a “relationship” with them.  Why would I want to mediate?

I’ll let you in on a secret.  Sit down, because this is going to be a surprise to you.  You’re already in a relationship with them.

It’s a conflict relationship.  An antagonistic one, for sure.  You may never be in the same room with them again.  But aside from a romance, it’s one of the most intimate relationships in human society.  What else gets your blood racing, the steam rising, your sweat glands pumping, the veins in your forehead pulsing, your stomach churning?  What else keeps you up at night, wakes you up in the wee hours, and is the first thing on your mind when the alarm goes off?  What else, besides love?  Conflict.

So you’re in a relationship already.  The question is:  what are you going to do about it?  You have a choice.  If you want the relationship to end, how are you going to end the conflict relationship?

You can choose to litigate – to seek a decision by a judge to get what you want – and you’ll prolong the conflict relationship for as long as it takes to litigate your way to a settlement on the courthouse steps.  Want to be one of the 2% that goes to trial?  Then it will take even longer.

Or you can mediate.  Have a few meetings, see if you can work it out and be done with it.  That’s your choice.

I don’t care what the other person wants.  I want what’s mine and what I’ve got coming.

Then go get it!  Nothing’s stopping you.

But maybe something is stopping you.  Maybe you need the other person to do something to get what it is you want.

If you need something from the other person to get what you want, how are you going to get it?

You have a choice.  You can hire a lawyer to ask a judge to make them give it to you.  Or you can ask them for it directly – but you might want to be prepared to have them ask you for something they want in return.  That’s the conversation I can help you with.

I’ve needed to compete for everything I ever got.  I’ve never gotten anywhere I’ve wanted to go without scrapping for it.  And I’m not going to give this up without a fight, either.

You may be very well-suited to handling your conflict with lawyers and legal fees and lawsuits and litigation expenses.  That’s what the legal system is there for – as an alternative way of resolving disputes when people can’t come to agreements themselves.

Often when we want something we need to cooperate with someone else to get it.  And if the way you usually approach a situation like this is to fight, then you probably have to do it a lot.  Because it’s just not a natural reaction for the people you’re fighting with to want to come to an agreement with you.  Litigation is available to you so you can continue to fight, but in a way which our society finds acceptable.  It may be just the thing for you.